The Evelyn Escapades

Story 2 for this issue, and the action moves from history to the ‘present’ (well as of 2000) day with The Spectre of Lanyon Moor...

Episode 1 begins....
AW:  Still the Tom Baker theme tune!
 JF:  Evelyn's first story as a new companion, lets see how she fares.
An alien craft and two rather strange sounding aliens are having problems with take off...
 AW:  Ooh, a spaceship!
 JF:  Listen to that wind, sounds like Eastbourne!
Added to their woes are...
 AW:  Wolves!
 JF:  Is that voice a little too...comical?
 AW:  I think it is a little!
 JF:  Is it supposed to be scary?
 AW:  It doesn't scare me!
One of them is attacked! The other flees in their ship.
AW: Oops!
"It's only a flesh wound!"
 JF:  The wolves, the wind...its quite atmopheric, this is Nick Pegg directing isn't it? He's always quite good.
 AW:  Lovely soundscape, apart from the comedy aliens!
 JF:  This music is awesome, very filmic, it feels like it belongs at the beginning of an epic film
Yeah shame about the voice
 AW:  So, he's stuck there. Hmmm....wonder if we'll see him again..?
A familiar wheezing-groaning sound alerts us to the presence of...
 JF:  The TARDIS! And chickens!
 AW:  Has the Doctor got a cold? Oh, he has!
 JF:  Definitely isn't the Galapagos Islands...yet!
 AW:  I bet that cold line was handily written in!
Our heroes are in Cornwell, where they meet Mrs Moynihan – an extraordinarily posh woman - who is out walking her dogs.
 JF:  A lovely setting, again the sort of thing Colin Baker missed out on on TV
 AW:  It sounds like they've been travelling together for a while.
 JF:  I didn't even notice he had a cold!
 AW:  Ears open lad!
 JF:  'Going to see the fogouuuu!? She's as posh as posh can be!
 AW:  She's like Penelope Keith posh!
 JF:  'Nothing like a jolly old yomp!' Evelyn you filthy beast! The Doctor and Evelyn compliment each other very well, both learned...
They are indeed off to see the fogou (a Celtic underground passage unique to Cornwall, as the Doctor informs us).
 AW:  Im glad the Doctor explained that - I had no idea!
 JF:  What have you never been to a Fogou?
 AW:  No, I live a sheltered life!
 JF:  I'm a Fogou expert you know!
Professor Morgan and his student Ludgate are looking over their relics.
 AW:  Is that Toby Longworth?
 JF:  Poor Ludgate stuck with a Luddite for a boss!
 AW:  The Brigadier? Can it be...?
 JF:  surely not...with colin baker?
Meanwhile in the fogou, the Doctor is explaining the past of the place.
Again we're getting a lot of history, I wonder if this will be a theme with this pair?
 AW:  Another history lesson - no bad thing, but it's another echo of the Hartnell era!
 JF:  Its nice to have two intelligent people in the TARDIS again, unlike JNT I don't mind it if it gets a bit too smart...Oh yes, Cornish caves! The Smugglers!
A familiar figure is talking with the Professor...
JF: The Brig! Squuueeee!
 AW:  Nicholas Courtney!
 JF:  Sorting out boxes? What have you come to Brigadier?
 AW:  It's a short hop from maths teaching.
Meanwhile in the fogou...
 JF:  The Doctor and Evelyn are still arsing about in the fogou! But this moment is very important later on...(wink wink)
 AW:  If only it was signposted somehow....
 JF:  Sorry I'm spoiling it...did you know that Kevin Spacey Is Kaiser Soze? This material is all very nice but its hardly gripping is it?
The Doctor and Evelyn are beckoned out of the fogou by Ludgate, who warns them that the place is dangerous...
 AW:  Ah, Lanyon Moor. I believe there's a spectre around here somewhere!
 JF:  The spectre of Lanyon Moor...that's the rumour!
 AW:  There really isn't much happening! All talk! Thataway? Does anyone really say that?
 JF:  My mate Ella does. She also says Filem and Wed-nes-day.
There’s some talk about the fogou and coffee, some of it with guest star James Bolam...sorry...Sir Archibald Flint...
JF: Squabbling over coffee now that’s something I can get passionate about! No set pieces...JNT would never have accepted this script!
 AW:  Now there's a Likely Lad...
 JF:  Ho ho
 AW:  He would have accepted one of those.
There’s some more talk, mostly historical background about the fogou.
AW: I've learnt a great deal about fogous. Not much else though.
 JF:  Evelyn's “a rather handsome lady!” The old rogue!
Now, what we’ve been waiting for. The Brigadier meets the Doctor...
 AW:  The meeting between the Brig and the Doctor is a bit underwhelming.
 JF:  This is lovely, it’s about time Sixie and the Brig met up, it’s such a shame that they didn't on TV.
And then there’s some more talk about...
JF: More fogous! Feck the fogous!
 AW:  Who's this 'tiny Grant'?
 JF:  Everybody is so nice to each other, where's the tension?
 AW:  Nothing 'terribly interesting'. Describes the plot so far.
 JF:  Unless you're a fogou fan!
 AW:  I think even they'd be twiddling their thumbs a bit by now!
 JF:  'Molected bonded disilon?' Good Grief!
And some more...
 AW:  Talk, talk, talk - something HAPPEN!
 JF:  I remember this story being a bit creepier than this! Maybe it gets creepier later. Oh here comes the coffee!
 AW:  Coffee, chat...
 JF:  Two of my favourite things!
 AW:  It's like an episode of Loose Women!
 JF:  I'll be Lynda Bellingham: 'Men! Aren't they scum?' Mrs Moynihan is off to Greece...what was the point of her then?
 AW:  Is there any point to this? This really could have done with an edit!
 JF:  'To be honest she's a bit of a sad case...' I have friends like that who wait until you've got your back turned and out comes the poison...A script trim.
 AW:  They've been in this place for ages now! Is there a subplot looming?
JF:  This track is 12 minutes long!
The Brigadier reveals details of a strange event from the past...
AW:  Ooh, a mystery....
 JF: And some creepy music...we haven't had any music for ages!
 AW:  Oooh a the fogou!
 JF:  The Brig's staying at the pub...obviously!
The Doctor asks Evelyn to find out what she can about the history of the area.
 AW:  Evelyn gets to do some research! She loves her history!
 JF:  Looks like we're heading outside...AT LAST
You’d think that but...suddenly we’re at Sir Archibald’s!
 AW:  Oh, there was no outside! We're in another house!
 JF:  More talk...Discussing architecture.
Sir Archibald need to have a ‘lie down’...
JF: He's having an afternoon snoozette, just like I do!
 AW:  Dust! Has that accumulated during the course of this story?
 JF:  Where's he gone?
 AW:  Anywhere else! He was bored of all the talking.
Evelyn continues her research.
 JF:  Evelyn goes 'history history history...' I wonder if her speciality is history?
The Doctor and the Brigadier are...having a chat.
 AW:  A change of scene! Oh, more talk.
 JF:  I love it when Colin Baker quotes
 AW:  A bit of Christina Rossetti! Most exciting thing all episode!
 JF:  Off to the fogou!
 Evelyn’s about to make a bad choice now it seems...
 JF:  Don't go out onto the moor Evelyn! The Spectre!
 AW:  Hmmm, I wonder what she will do....Are we going outside? Really this time?
 JF:  We still have no idea what that spaceship was all about at the beginning!
Are we outside?
JF: Nope!
But something interesting is happening, with Sir Archibald talking to an unknown other person...
 AW:  Who's he talking to? An experiment? I'm mildly intrigued!
JF:  I knew Archie was a bad one...nobody is that nice without dressing up in girlie clothes and whipping the houseboy when the curtains are closed!
Then all of a sudden we’re back with Evelyn and...
AW: Ooh! Outside at last!
...she meets a young lady called Nikki...
JF: Hikers haven't got a good track record in Doctor Who...
 AW:  Don't go near that stone! Or that Priory!
...tension builds and we get...
AW: Exciting noises! Action at last!
 JF:  Who's that giggling in the dark?
 AW: Is it a pixie?
 JF: Rising music...this is more like it! Nikki!
 AW:  It's like ‘The Five Doctors’ music before the triangle gets them! God, that was....talky.
 JF:  It was wasn't it? I don't remember this story being that must kick into gear later on.

And now, episode 2...
AW: How ironic that it's the Tom Baker theme when this was one he was offered!
 JF:  And he turned down The Stones of Venice! Blasphemer!
 AW:  It's that Five Doctors triangle noise again!
That imp sure is hungry...
 JF:  Ugh it really sounds like he is having a good feast on Nikki! Philip to the rescue!
 AW:  Only half-eaten.
 JF:  To be fair I think we would faint if we saw someone eaten in front of us.
AW: That goblin wasn't doing much gobblin'.
JF: Ugh your puns get worse perrier!
Back with the Brig and the Doctor.
 AW:  "Bless my soul!"
 JF:  'its metal!'
 AW:  Is the Brig really surprised by alien tech?
 JF:  Do the church bells and cockerel indicate morning?
 AW:  I'm guessing that's the subtle clue.
 JF:  Hahah!
What’ll make you feel better after seeing someone eaten in front of you?
 AW:  Hot chocolate! More cocoa for Evelyn!
 JF:  That Philip is far too nice...he must be dodgy.
Something sounds good!
JF: This music is excellent, really creepy. Evelyn is quite a good storyteller, practising for her companion chronicle.
 AW:  The Doctor seems very different with a cold - it's quite distracting!
Oh no, did they really mention...
AW : Aaaah! The fogou!
It seems like Philip might like the older lady too!
 JF:  It’s probably been a while since anything launched itself at Evelyn!
 AW:  What about that chap in the last story? He would have done given the chance!
 JF:  Dirty mare.
What was that they said?
JF: The fogey hole!  Isn't that Eastbourne?
More talk of things past...
 AW:  Civil War stories - here's hoping more Nightshade memories than The Awakening!
 JF:  This reading reminds me of Curse of Fenric but with lots of good music.
 AW:  It's very talky again so far.
 JF: Don’t forget the music
 AW:  Yak with music. "Listen to this..." Do something!
 JF:  It does rather seem to be more interested in the past than the present.
 AW:  What kind of Who story is this? Only 1 person's died!
 JF:  Did Mrs Moynihan say goodbye? I miss her. Hope she's having fun in Athens.
What’s that they’re talking about now? Oh it’s...
 AW:  More history. Sigh.
 JF:  'Tell on...'
 AW:  "Oh for pity's sake..." Just what I was thinking!
 JF:  This wouldn't hold water today would it? The Big Finish haters would drive this into the ground!
The Doctor gets worked up about...something. Answers on a postcard as to what it might have been.
JF: Calm down Doc!
 AW:  I love Big Finish, but this is trying my patience...
 JF:  Nobody is to go into the Fogou! Thank Goodness!
 AW:  I hope the rest of the episodes have more happening.
 JF:  Evelyn is very good as the Doctor's conscience, if Peri had said all that about apologising he would have started strangling her again!
 AW:  "Arrogant? No, I don't think so." Good old Brig.
 JF:  What a suck up the Doctor is! 'NogoFogou!'
 AW:  "No go fogou!" Good grief!
 JF:  haahahah!
 AW:  More hot chocolate!
Philip certain seems keen on the older lady.
 JF:  I think Philip might want to cuddle up next to Evelyn...
 AW:  She's certainly attracting the younger fellas!
 JF:  Lets keep track of all of her boyfriends...William Leaf, Philip Ludgate...
Evelyn says she’s going to break back into the manor to find out more. This doesn’t bode well...
JF: Uh oh Evelyn's not going to go off investigating is she?
 AW:  "Have a poke around." Ooh er! Please do something!
 JF:  I bet it will just wind up being more cocoa and book reading...
 AW:  God I hope not!
...and almost as it we knew it beforehand...
 JF:  No Evelyn he's heading you into a trap!
 AW:  No wonder Tom Baker turned it down!
Oooh, the TARDIS has gone!
 JF:  Yeah I wouldnt have given him this script...Phantasmagoria and The Marian Conspiracy would have been much better tempters
 AW:  Definitely!
We’re back with Lethbridge-Stewart. Surely the old soldier will get involved in a physical way now. Won’t he?
AW: C'mon Brigadier, do something actiony!
Did he just say...
 AW:  Reference to The Invasion! The most excited I've been all episode!
Back with Evelyn  up at the house. What’s that she’s found?
 JF:  Old Archie has got a secret laboratory!
 AW:  Lots of strange noises in Sir Archibald's lab! "What am I going to do with you?" Talk her to death?
JF:  'There's just one problem...' Yeah we haven’t seen the creature for nearly another episode!
 AW:  "There must be another way!" What, other than talking for another entire episode? If only!
And Sir Archibald continues to talk...
 JF:  'You're a bit crackers, aren't you?'
 AW:  Did he just use the word "plodding"? How ironic! "You babbling inadequate!" How dare he?!
 JF:  did he just call Evelyn a babbling inadequate?
...and talk...
 AW:  Lots more talk then.........
 JF:  Now they're nattering on about social statuses! Still it’s better than watching an episode of The Likely Lads, they're bloody tedious
 AW:  If they'd done it on Twitter it would've been over much faster!
 JF:  First time Twitter has seemed like a good idea!
...and talk, until...
JF:  My God I nearly shat myself when that window actual sound effect!
 AW:  Ooooh, he's magic! Can he make some more exciting things happen?
 JF:  Just to make up for it the next story is full of action you know!
AW:  There couldn't be much less!
Action over, it’s time for Evelyn to repeat herself a bit. There’s still the rest of the episode to fill after all!
 JF: Evelyn keeps saying the same thing: 'You're mad! You're crackers! You're totally unhinged!'
 AW: How much longer is there left of this episode?
 JF:  2 minutes
 AW:  Thank goodness! "You'll never get away with this!"
 JF:  Lets hope there's a good cliff-hanger to lead us into the next episode...otherwise we may never come back.
Sir Archibald threaten to boil Evelyn’s eyes, but it’s far less dramatic than it sounds.
 AW:  What a rubbish cliff-hanger! No tension at all!
 JF:  'Are you sitting comfortably...' Yeah the whole fucking episode that’s the problem!

And so to episode 3, were Tom Baker’s theme plays once more.
JF: I want Colin's Trial long do they use the Baker theme for and why?
 AW:  Not sure. I think it stops in the 30s release wise. What's he doing to her eyes?
 JF:  I dunno but I just watched Embarrassing Bodies and if it’s anything like what that guy was having done to his eyes...ugh!
A brief bit of action, but we’ve heard it before.
 AW:  A flashback to the aliens at the start!
 JF:  I'd forgotten about the alien chap!
 AW:  "Warm around the sockets."
 JF:  He slapped her! He slapped Evelyn! Bastard!
 AW:  Some more nice music here.
 JF:  It’s all going on now!
AW:  About bloody time!
Will Evelyn have her eyes boiled out? No, as the power’s failed so it’s...
 AW: Oh, back to chat.
 JF:  'Perhaps it would be unwise to strain the analogy' - ugh sounds like he's on the loo.
Meanwhile the Doctor and co are having a nice drink.
 AW:  More tea.
 JF:  I'd like some if Morgan’s making one, no sugar.
Things are hotting up at the house, and Evelyn makes a move.
JF: Evelyn using her cardigan in an escape plan...its Barbara!
 AW:  Barbara would have been out of there by now!
The Doctor and chums are making some deductions.
AW: "You'll never get anywhere without a pencil" apparently!
 JF:  Helps you to work things out...hahaha!
 AW:  Urgh, back to the toilet! Quick!
They’ve not mentioned the fogou for a bit...
AW: Fogou!
 JF:  'What about the Fogou?'
 AW:  The power of Fogou? Whogou? Yougou!
The Doctor has some idea of just what’s been going on.
 JF:  What are they talking about?
 AW:  I have not a clue.
 JF:  The Spoguan system? Sounds gross.
 AW:  I knew that burst of action at the start was too good to be true.
 JF:  I think what he's trying to say is his spaceship is in the fogou and the creature can perform magic tricks.
 That disappearing cast member turns out to be relevant after all!
 JF:  Somewhere in the Eastern Mediterrean...Mrs Moyahan!
AW:  What a...revelation. Or not. "Athens! Great Scott!"
And we’re abroad, in a museum with a familiar face from earlier.
 JF:  laaaaaadiess and gennyyyyltemen! What is up with that accent?
 AW:  Oooh, that's bad. A change of scene and more chatter about....history!
 JF:  Thank God for a change of scene! Is Susan Jameson the Fourth Doctor's companion in Demon Quest?
AW:  Yes I believe so!
 JF:  From Mrs Moynihan to Mrs Wibbesey!
 AW:  She's also James Bolam's wife!
 JF:  I never knew that
 AW:  Bit of trivia to pass the time...
Ahem...back to the matter in hand. Time for some technobabble and random connections.
AW: Psionic energy? Athens? Fogou? What the....?
 JF:  There’s a coffee mug in Athens that will help the imp do magic tricks...keep up! Who thought this tosh up?
 AW:  Erm....I believe it was Nicolas Pegg...
 JF:  Naughty Nicholas! Did he write any others?
 AW:  I don't think so, but I might be wrong. He directed some though, didn't he?
 JF:  Yeah Loups-Garoux for one, fantastic stuff
 AW:  I'd much rather be listening to that one!
Don’t cross Mrs Moynihan, you won’t like her when she’s angry!
 JF:  'Do shut up you irritating little fool! – don’t get her mad!
 AW:  The music's great! Best thing about this story.
 JF:  Jesus - Mrs Moynihan is a right psycho!
And...back at the fogou...
JF: Morgan's got a really shit part to play hasn't he? He doesn’t really do anything
 AW:  Just what I was about to say!
 JF:  I like the fact that Evelyn can escape on her own 'Bumbling bureacracy!'
 AW:  I'm glad she has - they could have spun another whole episode out of that!
Another familiar voice enters the picture...
 JF:  Oh my that's Reverend Thomas isn’t it?
 AW:  You mean.....Nicholas Pegg! The nerve!
 JF:  Oh is it? Hahahaha! He was great in the Pirates...wait until we get to that one.
 AW:  If we ever get to the end of this one....
 JF:  Come to think of it Philip's done sod all as well
 AW:  To be honest, no one's done much!
Evelyn seems to still be stuck on repeat.
AW: How many more times can Evelyn say "off his rocker"or "crackers" about Sir Archibald?
 JF:  Evelyn makes her adventures sound really exciting with old Archie...did we see any of that?
 AW: Phwoar, Philip and Evelyn!
 JF:  She's the sort of woman his mother warned him about, don't you know?
Mrs Moynihan is back in Blighty, but it doesn’t look good for anyone who crosses her.
JF: Uh-oh I think this is a UNIT sentry redshirt
 AW:  He's like the away team member in Star Trek that we've never seen before.....dead!
 JF:  She's getting angry again...I think somebody's going to get hurt. Mrs Moynihan should have been in this all the way through...she's a brilliant psycho!
 AW:  My ears are being assaulted! Does that count?
 JF:  Her dialogue is so far over the top it’s on the other side
 AW:  She is the best character - she's actually done something!
 JF:  She beats people up, kills UNIT soldiers...what ever will she do next?
It’s sad that the Brigadier has had little to do though.
JF: The Brig has never been so bland, he has brought nothing to the story.
AW:  Any one could have been in this instead of him. What a disappointment!
Back with Evelyn, and what’s Philip up to?
JF: Oh come one must realise Philip is a bad 'um!
AW: Philip? Really? That came out of nowhere!
 JF:  Why has Philip been helping Archie...'I like getting things done' - what a crap motive!
 AW:  Oh, Evelyn's being locked up again. Ho hum. "You will die with inane prattle on your lips." What?!
 JF:  I love it when people on Gallifrey Base rant on about how great Big Finish was in the first 100 odd releases and how crap they are now - I haven't heard a single release in the last two years that has been as slow or unmemorable as this. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Chasepan!
Another cliff-hanger and another underwhelming one.
 AW:  Oh, the alien's out. Woo. And indeed hoo.
 JF:  'Here begins my revenge!' Booooring.

At last! The final episode!
AW:  So, the goblin's on the prowl then.
 JF:  Is that Zippy with a cold?
 AW:  Revenge for what? Being left behind? Who's the revenge on?
 JF:  18,000 that how long he's been hanging out on the Earth? Hurrah things are going to get serious apparently!
 AW:  But remember, it's only about 10 years in equivalent human time! How did I remember that?
 JF:  Loser...
So why does this alien want revenge?
 AW: So he's pissed off at his brother. That's it?
 JF:  Fancy this terrifying alien forming a partnership with Mrs Mopp the cleaner! Repellant planet! How dare you!
 AW:  That's what this has been building up to? What's he talking about?
 JF:  Sibling rivalry!
But what does he need to take this revenge?
JF: A small disc...
 AW:  Oh, like a CD. Or a minidisc. Has he lost his minidisc player? Get MP3 like everyone else!
 JF:  Suddenly everybody remembers Evelyn's stone!
 AW:  And Philip gets a bit tetchy!
 JF:  What's the point of Philip? Was his whole purpose to be a red herring?
 AW:  I think so. And to be Evelyn's young bit of stuff. Here's the Professor - he has even less to do!
 Poor Nicholas Courtney...
 AW:  The Brigadier really is wasted! Why's he in it?
JF: Oh know, I never thought I'd say it but he's rubbish in this! The Doctor doesn't have much luck with moors does he? Silurians on Penley Moor, the Skaresen on Tulloch Moor and now the Spectre of Lanyon Moor!
AW:  God, I'm bored!
So, what’s the alien’s name?
 JF:  Sancreda? Sounds like a drink!
 AW:  I'm trying to enjoy it, but there really is little to like!
 JF:  It’s because the story is half baked, the characterisation lacks depth and the pace is drearily slow...
 AW:  Slow doesn't cover it! Nothing's really happened!
Oh Sir Archibald, you can’t control the alien! You poor deluded fool!
 JF:  I think old Archie might die now
 AW:  It's not surprising he's died. Was he that evil though?
 JF:  Not really, another delusional idiot.
So what about Mrs Moynihan? Why was she so bad?
JF: That's her motivation...because people have treated her like dirt? Gah!
 AW:  I know! What nonsense!
 JF:  Everybody talks in cliche as well...
 AW:  Is that why the Master went bad? Because as a teenager he worked in a restaurant and no one tipped him?
What’s that companion of the Doctor’s up to now?
 JF:  Evelyn...I'd forgotten all about her!
 AW:  She's had a terrible time in this. Almost as wasted as the Brig!
 JF:  Finally Morgan gets to do something! He must be over the moon!
 AW:  Get the party poppers! Philip’s died too!
 JF:  Finally...a massacre!
 AW:  We didn't even hear it!
 JF:  An off mike death though, clearly Philip wasn't that important!
Mrs Moynihan takes over the mantle of top baddie now Archie’s died.
 AW:  "You can blabber away all you like Doctor." That's all anyone's been doing!
 JF:  I guess for Evelyn being threatened with torture and kidnapped is new to her, she's allowed to be a little shaken.  Just last week she was marking papers
 AW:  That's true.
Hang on, that’s not the real Morgan! The alien suddenly has shape-shifting powers!
AW: What the hell...?
 JF:  So Morgan didn't do anything after all! He just died! He's just a ranting alien, very dull.
 AW:  That came from nowhere! How could he do that!     This is ridiculous! Why DO people rate this so much?
 JF:  I think it’s because it is so early in the run, nothing to compare it to...or do you mean it’s still highly regarded?
 AW:  Well on the Time Scales ratings site it has an average of 8.5/10! How?!
Mrs Moynihan comes to a sticky end too as Sancreda sets her own pets on her.
 JF:  Poor pathetic Mrs Moynihan...that's actually quite nasty being murdered by her own dogs
 AW:  Trouble is, I don't care about any of these characters! Yawn! How many more times is he going to mention 18000 years?
JF:  At least the Doctor says its petty sibling rivalry.
 AW:  It's worrying that even he realises that though! Where's Evelyn now? Oh, there she is.
 JF:  Her first spaceship!
And the revelation about Sancreda’s brother is...
 AW:  He's dead! Good Lord! This whole story was a waste of time!
 JF:  Oh my God he was killed in the first scene...hahaha! So Scriffan was a nice brother after all!
 AW:  That's probably the best bit in the whole story! But it does kind of negate the whole thing!
His mind is bent!
Sancreda still wants to destroy the Earth though.
 JF:  Blast this planet from space with the psionic canon - you predictable prat.
 AW:  Just shoot him Doctor, I wouldn't blame you! Push him in a bath of acid!
 JF:  Set up a laser canon or cyianide him to death! Ooh the Brig's gonna do something!
 AW:  Finally!
The Brigadier just does the best he can.
 JF:  Sounds like they're having sex!
 AW:  Maybe they are! Is Doris ok with that?
 JF:  His mind is addled with all these alien invasions. All the characters have an awful line in insults 'You half witted savage!' Why would he let him go??? You know this is going to be a trap!
 AW:  "He's out!" What, as an alien sex fiend? He's outed himself!
 JF:  'Malfunction?' - ugh so predictable
 AW:  He knows how many beans make five you know.
All that action...suddenly grinds to a halt once more.
 JF:  The brief moment of danger is over and it’s back to some more chatting. The Brig is so modest - 'All in a days work Doctor'.
 AW:  If the Doctor hadn't been in this, the story would be virtually the same. That's not a good sign.
 JF: That’s a really good point. I wonder how many other stories are like that?
 AW:  It'll be interesting to find out!
After the TARDIS vanished earlier, it suddenly reappears with no explanation.
 JF:  And like magic the TARDIS appears! Pointless mysteries that lead to nothing!
 AW:  Did it disappear? I don't remember that. I was obviously so engrossed in all the action.
 JF:  Yeah you commented on it at the time.
 AW:  I think my brain died in the intervening episodes.
 JF:  I do love the idea of the Doctor, the Brig and Evelyn going down the pub for some grub and a natter, that’s quite a nice ending.
 AW:  'Trifle peckish' - it ends on a bad pun!

Next Time: The Apocalypse Element.

The Marian Conspiracy written by Jacqueline Rayner and directed by Gary Russell

Dr Evelyn Smythe gives a lecture on British History and is interrupted by the Doctor who sits at the back of the hall with a loud device beeping.
JF: Evelyn makes an instant impression, refusing to continue her lecture whilst the Doctor makes a racket in the back row! She’s going to be a force to be reckoned with!
AW: I love the way she deals with him here! No nonsense!
The Doctor declares that Evelyn is the focus of the Nexus point and she thinks he is round the twist!
JF: It’s a nice way to introduce us to a companion, to make her the centre of the story. I just hope she doesn’t slip into the background after this story ala Turlough.
AW: Such a lovely introduction, right at the start and then the adventure being all about her and her past.
Evelyn rests in her digs, singing classical musical and knitting when the Doctor turns up again desperate to make her understand how important she is in his investigations.
JF: Great domestic scenes, exactly the sort of thing the sixth Doctor’s era on TV was lacking.
AW: Some nice simple character build-up here. It’s not shoehorned in either.
The phone rings and a student thanks Evelyn for her chocolate cake!
JF: She makes chocolate cake? Evelyn, are you single?
Accusing Evelyn of making up her historical facts she pulls a record from her computer and the text starts to vanish! History is changing before their very eyes!
JF: Very Back to the Future! It lays down the basics very nicely.
AW: She accepts all that the Doctor says and that he’s a time traveller without any question!

Evelyn packs her bag to leave with the Doctor…

AW: ‘Cocoa?’
JF: Packing a bag to leave with the Doctor, has anybody else ever done that?
AW: Not before, but Donna has since!
…and walks into the TARDIS nonplussed!
AW: She doesn’t think he’s mad, she just accepts everything!
JF: She’s a university lecturer – she’s seen everything!

Finally somebody who won’t be brow beaten by the Doctor!

JF: It’s laugh out loud when the Doctor can’t get a word in edgeways! Finally somebody who will talk over the bombastic Sixth Doctor!
AW: Who’d have thought the Sixth Doctor lost for words? Love Evelyn’s reaction to the TARDIS: ‘I thought there’d be more computer banks!’

Evelyn suffers another attack, almost vanishing from time completely!

JF: The fading in and out sound effects are really good, sounding as though Evelyn is being stretched out of existence and back again! ‘Who won?’ ‘The yard of ale definitely!’ Hahaha!
So the Doctor makes a gadget that will stabilise her for the time being.
AW: The Doctor knocking up a gadget in no time! Great stuff!

She’s not going to hang about in the TARDIS whilst the Doctor has all the fun!

JF: Evelyn, a commoner! How dare he?! Imagine being a historian and being able to explore history?
AW: And where does she head…the pub!
JF: Perhaps she should have paired up with Tom Baker!
AW: A very messy story that would have made!

Evelyn sums up London beautifully…

JF: ‘London is grotty!’
AW: Hmm, what could go wrong? Kiss of death!
JF: ‘What could possibly go wrong?’ – why do people ask that?
Evelyn walks into a country pub and chats with the locals.
AW: Is that Gary Russell as the innkeeper? He’s quite good!
JF: He often turns up in cameos, his voice is quite distinctive.
AW: He seems too familiar too often, but fits quite well here.
JF: Evelyn boozing with her students! I wish I’d had a lecturer like her!
AW: She ingratiates herself well.
JF: Nice bit of background chatter in the pub scene.
AW: A different time but no problem fitting in to a familiar setting.

The Doctor announces that he has arrived to see the Queen…

JF: ‘I’m the Doctor and I’ve come to see the Queen!’ Don’t say that at a Doctor Who convention!
…and Evelyn raises her glass and toasts to Queen Elizabeth!
AW: Haha! Uh-oh her first faux pas! And a big fat one at that.

The Doctor has taken her back to the time of Queen Mary!

JF: Trust the Doctor to turn up at the wrong time!
AW: It’s a nice touch when you are more used to him getting it right more often than not. Oh Evelyn this doesn’t look good! ‘Death to traitors!’
JF: ‘Death to traitors!’ – nice cliffhanger.
AW: Nice ending.

Episode two and we left Evelyn in danger of being lynched after namedropping the wrong Queen…
JF: Diddly dum Diddly dum.
AW: And we’re off!
JF: How will Evelyn get out of this one?
AW: Ooh nasty threats!
JF: Mouthy cow!
AW: ‘How dare you!’ Brilliant!
Evelyn manages to talk her way out of danger and fortunately she has fallen in with a bunch of Protestants…
JF: Doctor Who once again introducing the audience to some very interesting history.
AW: Phew! What luck they side with Evelyn. Even though she made an error that was ultimately the Doctor’s fault!

The Doctor talks with the Queen…

JF: Colin Baker is such a softie in these scenes. It’s very refreshing.
AW: Very gentle side to his character.
JF: It’s almost as charming as we have ever seen any Doctor

In walks Reverend Thomas who takes an instant dislike to Evelyn

JF: That’s Nick Pegg! He has such a distinctive voice. I don’t know if he has the gravity to play the Reverend. He was much more convincing as the wimpy ship’s captain in Pirates.
AW: Evelyn’s very good at convincing them of her good nature.
JF: The Doctor seems to be quite good at playing politics.
AW: I think this incarnation seems particularly convincing at doing so! Pertwee would have too…he was always doing it! The Doctor sets his stall out there. It’s interesting that Mary still tolerates him. He really does seem to be doing her some good. Yet he can’t meddle with history! Such a lovely hark back to the Hartnell historicals.
JF: Evelyn is marvellously imperialistic.
AW: I love that Evelyn really holds her own!
JF: Evelyn really stands up for herself! ‘If I wanted to listen to female babbling I would return home to my wife!’ haha!

Enter Francois DeNois, French Ambassador…

AW: Barnaby Edwards! Just the right side of Sir Giles Estram!
JF: If only he could say ‘You insult ze Queen!’
AW: The Doctor’s taking his role very seriously and without questions. How many times can the word majesty be said in two minutes?
JF: I really like how the Doctor doesn’t condemn Mary. It’s as though he knows what will happen but will not judge.
AW: He’s taking the moral high ground. He knows Mary’s opinion is unjust but doesn’t push the issue.

Evelyn lets slip that Mary isn’t pregnant and starts a long chain of events…

AW: Uh-oh Evelyn you shouldn’t be saying that!
JF: Oh no Evelyn! Faux-pas number two! For a historian she is breaking all the rules!
AW: She’s a maverick, she doesn’t play by the rules! The Doctor just stops himself saying companion there!
The Doctor describes Evelyn to Sarah.
JF: The Doctor says Evelyn has grey hair but on every cover she features on it is dark! She must take advantage of the TARDIS hair dye!
AW: ‘Just for time travellers’.
JF: She should take advantage of the TARDIS fountain of youth that makes Ace act 19 but sound 40 plus!

Evelyn strikes out at Thomas for accusing her of being a spy…

AW: She admonishes the reverend just as she would a student!
JF: I love Evelyn making the cocoa for everybody. It seems like a throwaway scene but beautifully introduces the aspirin i.e. poison.
AW: Very clever. Jac Rayner’s plotting is a thing of genius.
JF: She makes it look effortless! I agree with George, cocoa’s horrid!
AW: ‘It’s a children’s drink!’
JF: Evelyn has pulled a younger man…cradle snatcher!

Sarah reveals her dislike for the Spaniards…

JF: Wow Sarah is shockingly racist!
AW: Xenophobia is rife in the court of Queen Mary!
JF: Ooh a nice crackling fire (sorry random observation!).

Evelyn gets a message that the Doctor is in trouble…

AW: Evelyn rushing off to help the Doctor even though she barely knows him gives us a good indicator that she’s companion material
JF: It’s written all over the script in red marker! If this were on the telly she would have a neon sign over her head!

DeNois and Reverend Thomas are in cahoots…

AW: Oh no! Plotting against our hero! ‘Is he your sweetheart or anything?’

Evelyn almost vanishes from time completely!

AW: Oh no! Great sound effect there!
JF: Maybe she won’t be a companion after all!

Episode 3...
JF:  Diddly giggly dum!
AW:  Wooo oooo ooooo
JF:  Hahaha! This really was a good cliffhanger, really puts Evelyn in peril and built up from the beginning of the story, not just a random moment of danger
AW:  No! Poor Evelyn!
Thomas wants to implement Evelyn by suggesting she has taken poison into the court of Queen Mary!
JF:  Primitive Marian clergy! Thinking Paracetamol is poison!
AW:  A cunning plan though. Trouble is Evelyn's not around to implement it for them!

But she’s left her handbag behind with the Paracetamol inside!

 JF: Fancy a woman leaving her handbag behind!
 AW:  No woman I know would do that!
 JF:  Especially with chocolate in it!

The Doctor discusses the Queen with Sarah…

JF:  'A remarkable woman' - Queen Mary!
AW:  Lovely bit of historical fact there, more background.

Mary wants to find the Doctor somebody to share his life with!

AW: Uh-oh, the Doctor needs a wife!
JF:  Again this is some nice foreshadowing, talking about marriage and lovers separated by religion. Imagine being married to the Sixth Doctor - every time you rowed he would suck you out... into the time vortex! Haha wondered where that sentence was going to end didn’t you!
AW:  Hahaha! He's being such a bystander here. He doesn't even WANT to get involved!
JF:  Being burnt at the stake...a truly horrific death indeed! Interesting that our choice of book for this issue...The Witch Hunters...has exactly the same theme! Nothing changed over time from Salem to the court of Queen Mary…
AW:  Very true.

The Doctor admits to Sarah that he is far from perfect…

JF:  The Doctor's speech about the mistakes he has made is astonishing, it’s one of the best ever speeches, beautifully performed.
AW:  Musing on his actions. Very inward looking and judgemental.
JF: Almost seventh Doctor-esque! 'May God have mercy on your soul...' great comeback from Sarah
AW: That’s true

Evelyn is having trouble existing…

AW:  Evelyn's back!
JF:  ...and gone again...
AW:  And back! I think William's got a thing for the older lady!

Finally the Doctor and Evelyn are reunited…

JF:  Stables and Baker have excellent chemistry
AW:  She got there rather quickly!
JF:  Mocking the TARDIS!
AW:  Haha! Defensive of the TARDIS! The Doctor never changes!
JF:  Ooh handbags at dawn Doctor!
JF:  Isn’t Evelyn Smythe a great name for a companion!
AW: It really is!

De Nois bursts in and accuses Evelyn of trying to kill the Queen!

AW:  Sir Giles is back!
JF:  'You insult and try to kill ze Queen!'
AW:  It is pretty much that!

The Doctor can think of many reasons why Evelyn might carry poison…

AW: Seventeen! How random! Love it!
JF:  He is no agent of Lucifer!

Evelyn is bashful about the contents of her handbag…

JF: Marks and Spencer’s finest…is Evelyn flashing her undies?
AW:  The first knicker flashing since Jo Grant!

Everyone is getting merry on drugs!

JF:  Uh-oh introducing Paracetamol hundreds of years too early!
AW:  It's great that the plan fails and the Doctor is believed for once! The Doctor has nothing to lose by letting the queen take them - history will still follow its course.
JF:  I think Kalid might be behind all this. But then I think Kalid is behind everything!

DeNois objects, as usual…

AW:  "You stooopid woman!" It's like 'Allo 'Allo. He didn't say that, but he may as well have!
JF:  'Rene! What are you doing with your arms around that servant girl?' 'You stupid woman...can you not see that I am trying to stop an assassination of Queen Mary?'
Who's ever felt that good after Paracetamol?

Uh-oh…Mary is pushing ahead with the Doctor’s wedding!

AW:  The Doctor is really understated here - it's brilliant!
JF:  The second woman in this story that has managed to talk over the boisterous Sixth Doctor!
AW:  Who will be Mrs Who? The Spaniard-hating servant?
JF:  That’s the spin off show...Mrs Who!
AW:  Will it be as good as Mrs Columbo?
JF:  That was Kate Mulgrew! Captain Janeway herself!

Evelyn has put her foot in it again…

AW:  Oh Evelyn! She's as bad as the Meddling Monk! Albeit accidentally!
JF:  'I told him the Queen wasn't pregnant!' – how many mistakes can this woman make in her first story! You better shape up Evelyn!
AW:  She's racking them up!
A bomb! From 'Allo 'Allo to Clouseau! Nice music then - very Paddy Kingsland!
JF:  Everybody is out to kill the Queen! I better hide!
AW:  Quick behind that lecturer!
JF:  (Swallows drink) Oh no! You're working with them Weston!
DeNois turns his back on Reverend Thomas now he might be exposed as a traitor.
JF: There's nothing at all redeemable about De Nois is there? What an insult -'You catholic!’
AW:  "I should never have trusted you!"
Evelyn is suddenly under the impression that the Doctor is her great (times 11) Grandfather!
JF:  How funny is Evelyn's insane theory about the Doctor being her ancestor!
AW:  Love that! "You're my ancestor!"

Her jubilant theory is somewhat spoilt by the fact that it means he will die!

AW: Oh bum!

Episode 4 begins...
AW:  Diddly dum
JF:  woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
AW:  The Doctor's going to die! And he's a heretic! The one true God! It's BSG! Is Evelyn a Cylon?
JF:  She was the head Cylon...

Nice historical music…

AW:  Loving this score! Who is it for this one?
JF:  Alistair Lock, he's fantastic, his scores are very filmic. His score for Fires of Vulcan is one of my favourites.
AW:  They are that, and they do seem to mimic 80’s Who in the best way.
Evelyn and the Doctor are taken to the Tower of London and least one of them is delighted!
JF: Imagine if Tegan had been locked up in the Tower of London? It would Moan Central! Evelyn’s loving it!
AW:  They'd let Tegan out to get some peace!
The Doctor lays down the rules about interfering in history.
JF:  Evelyn is learning the responsibility of time travel...I think she needs it after her cock ups in this story!
AW:  She's a companion now! The Doctor just admitted as much!
JF:  They're having another domestic! They really sound like an old married couple!
Apparently the Doctor is a principled man…
AW:  Hahaha! "Violence is never the answer!" Though cyanide's ok is it?
JF:  and laser (Vengeance on Varos)…
AW:  He's changed!
JF:  ...and acid (Mestor)...and acid again (Vengeance)…and laser again (the Borad)!!
The Doctor and Evelyn try and figure a way out of their cell and who is behind the assassination of Queen Mary…
JF: They’re working together very well, lots of good logical thinking and the music’s great here.
AW:  I like that they're thinking about it very cleverly.

Evelyn does the ‘guard I’m really ill’ escape routine…

JF:  Oh I love this bit...Evelyn’s orgasmic groaning! If you ever wanted to know what it would be like to take Evelyn to the peak of ecstasy listen to this scene!
AW:  Oh that's very wrong!
JF:  Not to William Leaf!

Evelyn wallops the guard over the head!

AW: Whack!
AW:  Officer Crabtree's back!

The Doctor takes the piss out of Evelyn jumping ashore on the Thames and then falls in himself!

JF:  I love how this story isn’t afraid to make the Doctor a bit fun and silly...'A bit inelegant...splash!'
AW:  Oh Doctor! Right in the water! Reminds me of Castrovalva.
JF:  Do you think he did a Nyssa style screwing up of his face?
AW:  I hope so! I like to imagine he did. I did one then - my tea's too milky!
JF:  Haha!

Turns out it was Sarah who was to administer the poison all along…

AW:  Oooh, a nice revelation there.
JF:  Sarah the racist assassin!
AW:  She's a wrong 'un and no mistake!

Mary is not amused…

JF:  'You wicked child how dare you!' - Mary is beautifully performed.
AW:  "You will burn for this!" Brutal.
The Doctor tries to make Mary understand why Sarah has acted as she has.
JF:  The Doctor's being all charming again; he could talk the hind legs off a donkey.
Stop blubbering girl! Take her to the nearest stake!

Jail will do for her since she is carrying child…

AW:  Prison, that's not so bad. Better than a burning anyhow.
JF:  Setting up Sarah as Elizabeth's nursemaid just as Evelyn said in the first all slots together nicely
AW:  That Jac Rayner's a smart one! The French Ambassador eh? I hope he has Ferrero Roche.
JF:  It will be spoiling us!

The events are slotting into place exactly how they should…

AW:  Love how history alters around them.
JF:  This story would work very well as a piece of theatre don’t you think?
AW:  I think it's very theatrical and it'd look gorgeous. The Doctor's memories are changing!
Evelyn wants to save her friends but the Doctor has other ideas so she has to take measures into her own hands and pretend she is still poorly…
JF:  Oh Evelyn you old rogue...faking her symptoms to save Leaf and Crow!
AW:  After all she's done already!
Thomas is exposed as a Protestant and is to be burnt at the stake for heresy.
AW: Burn him!
JF:  She's’s great drama. And I love how Thomas supports his faith and would rather burn than alter his beliefs
AW:  That's dedication to your faith!
JF: 'You will burn for this!' Don't get her mad!
The Doctor agrees to take Crow and Leaf away until Elizabeth comes to the throne.
JF: William Leaf is Jeremy James isn't it? Josh from the Sarah Jane Smith audios!
AW:  "An angel in a cardigan?" Great line!
JF:  Like Donna, Evelyn is good for the Doctor's conscience
AW:  Fly TARDIS: The only way to travel time and space!
JF:  A nice happy ending for everyone accept Nick Pegg! Stroppy old Mary!

The Doctor muses that he can understand how Mary is feeling…

AW:  The Doctor sees the good in everyone!
JF:  'An idealist and a fanatic...' I love how the story paints a rounded picture rather than just condemning her.

Evelyn has decided that she will be travelling with the Doctor!

JF: Invite yourself along Evelyn, why don’t you?
AW:  Welcome aboard!
JF:  She's just found out about her heart hasn't she? This is her last gasp of adventure before it gives out... It does make sense once you find out about it. The Doctor has his head turned by a slice of chocolate cake!
AW:  I know! Haha!

And what did we think…?

AW: Great story! Can't wait for the next one! Nice to have a pure historical too.
JF:  A superb pure historical and there isn't enough of those, well researched but entertaining and with some really dramatic dialogue
AW:  Colin Baker and Maggie Stables make a great team!
JF:  Evelyn did make a few mistakes but she was very engaging and real...I love the stuff about knitting, chocolate and knickers! Maggie Stables starts off well and just gets better and better.
AW:  Such great chemistry. It's fun and unusual having an older companion on board.

Next Time: The Spectre of Lanyon Moor